Panem et circenses - funny in a different desperate way

We've had bread subsidies for quite awhile (at least CORN bread), but now they are taking care of the circuses.

Funny in a desperate way....

There are some odd reminiscences in the health care professions....

My favorites:

#5: Stay away from people named "Some Guy" or "This One Dude", because they for whatever reason, just punch someone in the face or hit them with a crowbar and run off. If I see them on the street, I cross the street to get away from them.

#6 Never, ever leave flashlights, shampoo bottles, beer bottles or any long, circular object on the floor because someday you will fall on it and it will somehow, work its way up your rectum.

If you have taken 7 home pregnancy tests that are all positive, and you come into the emergency department...chances are that test too will come back positive.

Fat and stuck with it?

McArdle is pretty sure you can lose weight...but not much....

Interesting......

Partially in response to their libel suite, chiropractors are under major pressure against false claims in the UK.

Only on the web....

... does a layman like me get to discuss such matters in a semi-serious way with real linguistics professors.

I even got noticed by one of the professors (and an author of a book I bought) in a sort-of approving way:

Jens is quite right: ever since fuck became a human-denoting noun (You've killed my Burmese python, you stupid fuck!), it has been possible for the fuck to occur in NP slots on a fairly broad basis. But not as a semantically inert pleonastic epithet with the affective function of conveying personal irritation. —GKP

National Health Care - Bad idea or big mistake?

Megan McArdle weighs in, well worth reading.

My apologies to Dave Barry.

Health update.....

Quick update on yesterday, my first colonoscopy.
I declined sedation (benzodiazepine, the stuff that makes you forget most of the procedure ever happened). They did, however, give me an analgesic (just a little bit to relieve discomfort).....Fentanyl, a drug 100 times as potent as morphine. Apparently, some people find this opiate enjoyable, but after the initial hit (which was sort of a dizzy wave) I felt completely normal.

Fully, or almost fully, alert I was able to enjoy the roller coaster ride through my large intestine on the video screen. He took out two small polyps on the way out (they go in quite rapidly, most of the inspection is done during the slow extraction). Very minor discomfort, the USA is one of fairly few countries where sedation is the norm.

Afterwards, a broccoli, onion, and cheddar cheese omelet!

Sherborne Lane sounds quite classy....

...but apparently it was originally "Shitteborwelane, later Shite-burn lane and Shite-buruelane (possibly due to nearby cess pits)".

I suppose local real estate agents insisted on the change.

But I find the older street names refreshingly honest.

'Skip' Gates - not much to say....

But I agree with Andrew Sullivan that if we are concerned about police abuses, there are other cases with higher priority.

Finally, a truly FAIR tax....

A tax on tallness.

My only reason for objecting to this one is that it is a bad precedent. What next, a tax on intelligence?

Medical Rant....

It's the 21st century. Truly and indisputably. Don't try to tell the doctors that.

They still give me multiple forms to fill out that require me to enter my name and address. Even better than that, they ask me to tell them who they are.

Then they ask broad questions with only the most tenuous relationship to the case that are particularly burdensome on those of us who feel compelled (I have no idea why) to answer honestly. "Are there steps in your house?" OK, I can see why that might matter when it comes to counseling me about my behavior after a procedure that might leave me woozy. "How many?"

WTF????!!!

Maybe they are trying to catch the person that has just a single step down into the kitchen or something, but how useful can that count really be? (There are 26 steps, by the way, including the stairs to the second floor, the stairs to the basement, and single steps down to the family room from both the breakfast room and the dining room) It must make a pretty big difference whether I live in a tiny 4-story house with ladders or a sprawling mansion that has twelve places with shallow single steps....

Then I am supposed to give my height, in feet/inches and in centimeters, and my weight, in pounds and kilograms. They can't do their own effing conversions?

Don't even get me started on the "recreational" questions. Do I smoke cigarettes? Yes, approximately one puff every decade or so.

I write software forms that allows users to enter information using the fewest steps possible. User friendliness is the first thing we think about. If I decided to make a hobby out of doing tonsillectomies on my friends without bothering to get a medical degree first they would have the law down on my butt so fast my head (or tail) would spin. But they haven't the slightest compunction about having rank amateurs designing their user interfaces.

Get with the program.

Some advertisements are a bit hard to swallow....

This one for Gaviscon must have been a bit embarrassing.

The video here does not have the badly phrased tag line, but the coloring is still a bit out there.

XKCD

always has insight.

And my wife always complains....

...that we only have a toilet on the ground floor and the basement. For four (or right now, three) people. It could be worse.

Change....

It's not easy moving from Germany to the United States. When I grew up in Germany, World War II was occasionally mentioned -- as a really bad time -- but nobody really dwelled on it. In America, on the other hand, popular comics still included the World War II comics like Sergeant Rock. Even Captain America was still battling mostly Nazi villains. It was considered very humorous to make gestures in my direction ("A German! Let us machine gun him!") Popular culture had Germans always ready to kill and torture innocent people. I so did not want to be a villain - there weren't, to my knowledge, even S&M clubs around where that sort of rep would make us popular.

Imagine my dismay when America came out in favor of torture - or at least winking at it. As long as our side was doing it, it was just "enhanced interrogation techniques." Orwell really knew his stuff.

One of the things that made me prefer Obama to Bush was that he didn't seem to want us to be the villains. Greenwald points out nothing has changed.

American Dream

Guy: That's the new American dream--fuck up your life so much that you get your own tv show.

Spotlight personality

Not only was Carl Michael Bellman a great composer of drinking songs, he had a whole genre of jokes named after him. One from my youth, before I knew it was a Bellman joke:

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a German all died in the war and were sent to hell. The devil greeted them and said that he admired them for their bravery and wished to give each of them a chance to escape damnation. If any one of them could set him a task he could not perform, that one would be sent up to heaven.

The Englishman made the first attempt: one of His Majesty's greatest warships was sunk at Scapa Flow....can you restore it to its former glory? A hundred demons were set to the task, and it took them only 5 minutes to raise and repair the ship.

The Frenchman tried next: in the bombing of our cities, ten of our finest artworks were destroyed - can you bring them back and enrich our culture? A thousand efreets were dispatched, and the art was resurrected in 15 minutes.

As the Englishman and the Frenchman toddled off to eternal damnation, still pleased they had done something for their fatherlands, the German made his request: I'm going to fart now - can you paint it green?

Satan was baffled and the German was saved.

The Flynn effect....

This not only has some interesting information about IQ, and how it seems to keep getting better (The Flynn Effect) - how do the curmudgeons who think the world keeps dumbing down deal with that? - it has one of the funniest corrections ever.

Of course.....

some of my friends are already doing this.

Word of the week

Hypergamy

A good quote goes with this one, too:

Consult, for example, Ring Lardner’s humorous story “I Can’t Breathe”—the private journal of an eighteen year old girl who wants to marry a different young man every week. If surveyed on her preferred number of “sex partners,” she would presumably respond one; this does not mean she has any idea who it is.

F.Roger Devlin