Some Family History

I've posted this elsewhere before, perhaps on Myspace....but here's for the record, from an interview my little brother did with my mom:

My Interview with Mami (Karin Ingrid Fiederer)

Sunday, September 14, 2003

(this version has revisions made by Mami)

I spoke for several hours on the phone with Mami regarding information about her and our families’ past history. The first thing we dealt with was getting her side of the family’s ancestry down. Mami got this information from some handwritten papers she had received from Omalina. Some of the data from her siblings’ birth certificates were damaged because Mami (as a child) tore off stamps from them to add to her collection. She did not say anything about this to her mother, who thought the soldiers had damaged the papers because they did not know what they were

Children of Bernhard and Karin (Ruppert) Fiederer Child of Erhan Kunt and Karin Fiederer

Jens Bernhard Fiederer Joerg Thomas Fiederer Karun Erhan Fiederer

Born 06/01/1959 Born 07/10/1963 Born 09/20/1969

Frankfurt, Germany Frankfurt, Germany Agana, Guam

Children of Friedrich and Gertrud Ruppert:

Karin Ingrid Ruppert (Fiederer) Frank Gisbert Ruppert Heidemarie Konstanze Ruppert

(Heidi Iverson)

Born 07/11/1938 Born 04/09/1940 Born 07/15/1943

Born at home in Born at hospital in Born in hospital in

Holzhausen, Germany Kassel, Germany Kassel, Germany

Bernice Elisabeth Carola Ruppert (Poole)

Born 04/07/1949

Born at hospital in Langen, Germany

Friedrich (Fritz) Johannes Ruppert

Omalina was born in Boberstein. She attended school up until 8th grade. She proudly remembers her father and his job as a coachman to the Earl Rotkirch of the city of Graf. She remembered the Coach that was pulled by six beautiful white horses. Her father, Andreas Widlok, drove the Earl to such far off places as Berlin, and even all the way to Russia to visit the Czar. Omalina remembered being shown a letter that the Earl wrote to her father advising him not to have so many (15 in all, 3 only lived 3-4 months, one lived only 1.5 years) children. She was proud to know that Andreas’s response was that the Earl should not try to tell him how to run his personal life.

Omalina started working as an Au Pair at the age of fourteen. She did not marry until she was 28 years old. She grew up as a churchgoing Catholic, while Opa Rupps was Protestant. As a result, they did not have a church wedding. They were married on 06/29/1938 in Holzhausen.

Karin was born in Holzhausen and lived there until about 4 or 5 years of age. Opa Rupps was an enlisted man (Unter Offizier) in the German Air Force during WWII, serving as a radioman. He fought in places like Norway and France, and was shot down twice. During one escape, he remembered being spotted by a black Military Policeman who allowed him to escape. So during 1942 & 1943, the children lived with Omalina in the village of Profen with her sister Margarete, and then in a castle named Schloss Bersdorf, which belonged to the Baroness of Richthofen. Her husband was serving in the War and she rented space to my grandmother and another family. This was where Omalina’s mother was living at the time. Omalina’s sister Tante Gretel worked as a cook there.

An interesting family story was told about Omalina’s two brothers. Franz, being tall, blonde and blue eyed was forced to join Hitler’s elite S.S. unit. Brother Hans, a short fellow ended up in the regular navy.

In 1945 as the war was ending, word was out that the Russians would soon be reaching Profen. Omalina and the kids (Mami was almost age 6 at the time, Frank 4, and Heidi almost 1) were able to board the last train leaving the area. It may have helped them to get on board because Omalina had Heidi in a baby carriage. This area would eventually become part of East Germany, under control of the Soviet Union. They rode in freight cars with open doors, standing room only. They went back to Rothwesten, into the house that had been provided the Government. The place was like an open base, close to Holzhausen.

During the period of time before the war ended, life was difficult. Omalina and her three children all slept in one bed. The windows were kept covered with cloth at night time so that no light could be seen from the outside. At nighttime, even with the covered windows, no one was allowed to use any lights. This was to protect being seen by the frequent bombing raids that were occurring. Every night, and often during the day, air raid sirens would go off. The family would have to walk downhill, passing a barbed wire fence and the ditch in front of it to get to an underground bunker. They would then climb down a "chicken ladder", helped by local Prisoners of war, into the bunker for safety. On one occasion, Mami ran ahead and Omalina was running after her with Heidi in the stroller. The stroller ended up running into the ditch. Omalina felt sorry for one of the Russian P.O.W.’s that was always friendly to them. She brought him some bread once and was severely scolded by one of the German Soldiers who saw it. They were situated very close to Kassel, a German city that was totally bombed, but the allies never found the base.



When the American troops were nearing the area, the families in the base housing were evacuated and placed in surrounding villages temporarily. Their furniture had to stay behind. They moved to Holzhausen and occupied one large room in a building that had previously been the Kindergarten. back to Holzhausen. It was there that Mami remembers the arrival of the U.S. troops. Mami remembers that at first everyone was afraid and was hiding, but when the troops came closer there was a feeling of excitement, everyone stood on the streets watching them. It seemed like a parade There were trucks and tanks, and the soldiers threw candies. For everybody, the candy was a very welcome sight, and at that age, they had no real concept of being a conquered people. One time, an MP offered cigarettes to Mami, and she refused. When she told Omalina about this at home, Omalina told her to go back and get them. Items like that, even if you did not use them yourself, were valuable to sell or trade. When Mami went to visit her birthtown in 1990, she was the only customer in the restaurant, and the waitress had much time to talk to her about the time after the war. She was told that there had been a group of German soldiers, who did not want to admit that the War was over and lost, had hidden in the hills above the village and were shooting. They were caught and punished.

Next they moved to Bad Homburg, where Opa must have found a job. Although she remembers the beautiful city ( a well known spa with many healing wells in the beautiful park where they would go and drink the weird tasting waters (one smelled like rotten eggs) she really does not remember why they lived there From there they moved to Buchschlag, because Opa had found a job on nearby Rhein Main Air Base. Many of the houses were villas. The owners had to leave them so that the American soldiers could have space for their families. Some of the lesser beautiful places were occupied by Germans who rented from the Owners who had moved elsewhere. Opa also did some freelance work, converting American televisions so that they could be used to watch the German programs. German broadcasts at that time were not available all day long. You could catch some shows maybe from 6-8 am, and some from 8-10pm.

Mami attended elementary school there until the end of 4th grade. Grades from 1-4 were all in the same room. At the same time. After 4th grade, children had to go to another town to continue schooling, this included Religion classes, taught by the Pastor. She attended Protestant church (not Lutheran) regularly. There were not so many denominations as in America. One was either Catholic or Protestant, all others were not noticeable. Each vacation, Mami would visit Tante Gretel in Bad Homburg and her daughter Edith. That family was a good Catholic family and Mami went to Catholic church with them. The service was held in Latin, but it was not boring because the Church (a cathedral) The Protestant church in Buchschlag was just a room in a house and had not much decoration. Mami appreciated the beautiful decorations and the singing found in the Catholic Church. If she could not understand what the Priest was talking about, she could admire all the beautiful artwork around her and before you knew it, the service was over. She was confirmed at the age 15 in Walldorf, after having attended confirmation classes for a year.

Mami recalled a funny story from her elementary school years. The fourth graders had the privilege to be the main characters in the yearly Christmas pageant at Church, if they had faithfully attended during the year. There were only 7 fourth graders. Mami’s dream came true, and she was chosen to play Mary in the school’s Christmas pageant. Since the two boys of her class did not attend church often, a third grader was chosen to play the part of Joseph – her younger brother Frank. Frank ended up losing his part because when he found out that he would be required to put his arm around his sister and lead her through the church, he refused to do that. Mami not squeamish, ended up playing Joseph instead while another girl got the part of Mary because her voice was too squeaky for Joseph.

Mami went to the Real Gymnasium in Langen for 2 years, a short train ride away. When Opa decided to buy a piece of land in Walldorf, the family moved after the house was built on it. Mami had to switch schools because Langen could not be reached directly by train from Walldorf. She went to Bettina Real Gymnasium in Frankfurt, a school for girls only. This was traumatic to Mami because she had really loved living in Buchschlag where all her friends were (Lilo, Edith, Gisela, Renate). of 15.

The German system of education was a bit different than the U.S. system. First through fourth grade was considered Grade School.

Students who were interested in vocational studies took grade school and continued Volksschule for 4 years. Then they entered into an apprenticeship for 2-4 years, depending on the selected occupation. Apprenticeship was being a helper, learning the trade while receiving very little pay. Once a week the apprentice would go to a trade school instead of work

Students interested in a general academic study took grade school plus six more years of education. Those 6 years were called Middle School, and upon graduation, the student had accomplished the Mittlere Reife.

Students interested in University went to a High school after the 4 years of grade school, and upon successful completion, they received their Abitur and could apply at a University.

Mai wanted to go to the Middle School where her friends went, but Omalina wanted her to be something better and study. Mami did not want to study at a University and left after 6 years and obtaining the Mittlere Reife.

There is no Government furnished transportation for students. One can go to any school of choice, if one is accepted, but it is up to the individual to make the proper arrangements to get there. Mami had to walk to the train station, ride the train, and walk quite a distance from her train stop to the school. Most children had to do that.

During her teen years, she liked American Rock & Roll music, especially Elvis Presley and the Beatles. There were many German performers she enjoyed as well, ones that would be unknown to most Americans. German youth were influenced by American, British, French and Italian fashions. Capri pants were a popular style. German men would not wear colorful pants like the Americans did. They stuck to black, navy, grey, brown and dark green. She loved to go to the movies, and enjoyed American classics like "Ben Hur", and "Gone with the Wind" which featured her favorite actor, Clark Gable. Mostly, she watched German movies. The ratings were very strict. Once she and her friend Edith wanted to go to a Movie named "Muss man sich gleich scheiden lassen? (Does one have to get divorced right away? ) They were 15 and 13, and not allowed in. They saw that movie later and could not understand why they were not allowed to see it earlier. There was no foul language, no sex, etc. – Maybe it was because the couple kissed.

Bernhard Fiederer worked as an apprentice to a plumber in Frankfurt, and did some work at the same military base that Karin was working at. One of his friends, Walter, was Mami’s boyfriend at the time. Walter was the "Dancing King" and Mami was the "Dancing Queen". Papi first met Mami when he took his girlfriend to a dance that she and Walter were attending. Eventually, Papi ended up going out with Mami instead.

American companies where hiring German workers (who could be paid less) to work in Turkey. Opa went to work in Turkey for American Express & later the Tumpane Company. An incentive for the workers was that they were paid in U.S. money, tax free. By that time, Mami had already met and was in love with Papi so she did not want to move with them to Turkey. She was 16, took care of Omalina’s house and collected rent from some tenants. She was also working at the airbase doing secretarial work for the 75th Support Squadron.

An interesting story from this time period was that she was working in an area where they had a blueprint printing press. Papi needed a blueprint made for one of his trade school projects, so Mami brought them there to be printed. She got in some trouble for this when it was seen by one of the military personnel working there. They confiscated the plans and studied them to make sure it was not some sort of spy information. It was just some piping diagrams so they ended giving them back.

Since Papi was Catholic, and Mami was Protestant, Mami decided to convert for the sake of family unity. She was rebaptized in the Catholic Church as well. Bernhard and Karin were married on June 21, 1958. Their honeymoon involved a trip to Izmir, a beautiful and famous city near the Mediterranean, where Opa worked for Amex and later Tumpane Company. Many Germans took contracts with those companies. The dollar was high more than 4 Deutsche Mark for $1. The portion of the salary that was sent to a bank in Germany was tax free.

They rode aboard the Orient Express, They had assigned seats, and found out that they were only valid from Frankfurt to Munich, where the train was half empty anyway. Latre during the trip, the train was sometimes so full, that one had a hard time finding space to stand with both feet on the ground. In Athens, there was a 12 hour layover. One was not allowed to stay in the train station’s waiting room. It was locked up. They could not afford a hotel with their little money, so they sat outside of a restaurant taking turns sleeping while sitting on the wallet . They were picked up by a friend of Opa’s and taken to their hotel in Istanbul. On the next morning they continued by plane to Izmir.

Opa and Omalina seemed to be having a good life there, they had the same privileges as the American military people and did not lack anything. So life in Turkey was attractive to Mami.

They had their first child, Jens, in 1959.

In Germany at the time, it was normal for the Men to work outside the home while the women cooked and brought up the children. While married to Mami, Papi never had to do any housework. He focused on his work, along with his hobby at the time, playing Soccer. For a short while, Mami still worked at the air base during this time, while Jens was taken care of by his Grandpa, Opa Daddi (Jakob) and Oma Inge. She worked in the personnel department and in accounting, all in all spending about four years working for the base. She later worked for a typing agency, and for the Bosch company (Refrigerators, spark plugs) using computer punch cards for one of the early computer systems.

When Jens was 2, Papi took a job with the Tumpane Co in Adana, Turkey. That city was very different from Izmir. It was 20 years behind times. Women did not ride bicycles, but most dressed in the European style.

There were no military privileges and the Turkish way of living is very different from the German way. They missed the German bread, sausage and cheeses. Tante Linda lived on the ground floor with her family. Uncle Fritz worked at the same company as Papi. Tante Linda taught Mami a lot. The first few months she did not dare to go shopping by herself. She went with Tante Linda. At the butcher shop, one had to push all those meets aside that hung at the door and in the little room. Tante Linda knew what piece to have cut from the half cow or goat. There was no pork. The fruit and vegetable markets were fantastic. Everything was laid out so nice, and one was enticed to taste so that one would buy. Before the tasting, the shop owner would ask if we wanted some tea or coffee. Men with trays would come through, and the shop owner would buy his customers the tea or the coffee. Occasionally, the Germans would make a trip to Syria. In the town of Aleppo was a Market that had Germany merchandise. One could immediately notice when one drove out of Turkey. Mami said that the difference is this. In Turkey, the men loaf in the streets wearing their pajamas, in Syria they are wearing their night gowns.

Mami was homesick for Germany and so was Papi. So after a year, they went back to Germany. In Germany they were "homesick" for Turkey, so Papi signed up with Tumpane Company again, and they spent another year in Turkey, even in the same apartment because it had become vacant just in time for their arrival. When Mami was pregnant with Joerg, she and Papi decided it would be better to have the baby in Germany and she went to stay with Omalina. Joerg was born on July 10, 2003. When Joerg was 5 weeks old, they flew back to Turkey.

After working in Germany for a while, Papi signed up with Tumpane Co. for Saudi Arabia. This kept him away from home for three months at a time.





The first member of the family to leave Germany for the United States was Tante Heidi. She was 19, and had a 2-year old boy Mark. She worked for an American insurance company in Frankfurt and her boss helped her to find employment in Denver.

The first member of the family that made the move to the Caribbean was Uncle Frank. He found a job with the Hilton Hotel in Puerto Rico. That was followed by a job on St. Thomas in the U.S. Virgin Islands, also at the Hilton Hotel. Opa Rupps took the job in Puerto Rico, and when Uncle Frank left the Virgin Isle Hilton, Opa Rupps moved there with Omalina and Tante Bernice (who was 12 at the time). Tante Heidi moved to St. Thomas for a while and then was transferred to Guam working for a watch company.


After Mami divorced Papi, we moved out of his apartment and into Omalina’s. Her plan was to move to St. Thomas with us, but Omalina had decided to leave Opa. She came to sell the house, which took more than ½ year, and then decided to move to Guam. So Mami had to change her plan and move to Guam too. Tante Heidi thought it was paradise, because she had met her future husband Frank there. Uncle Erhan was attracted to the idea of moving to the U.S. or an American territory, but could not because of immigration issues. He encouraged Mami to move ahead of him, and he would find a way to follow. Since Omalina was a permanent resident, she could sponsor her daughter (Mami) to legally immigrate. There was a war going on in Czechoslovakia which led to a large number of refugees coming to the U.S. That resulted in Mami’s application for a green card being delayed for about 3 months. Mami, Omalina, Jens and Joerg immigrated to Guam in February 1969. She had an International drivers license from Germany, that was valid everywhere but in the US so she had to take the written test in Guam. She failed this the first time around, because she had not learned yet what the English word "merge" meant, which appeared many times on the test.

While working at the Guam Power Authority, Mami passed the GED (which was paid for by the company). Her strengths were Math and Science. English literature had to be guess work, because she had not studied that in the German school.

Heidi’s husband Frank was able to get a job for Erhan as a welder, which got him a working visa allowing him to immigrate to Guam. Omalina only stayed in Guam for two months, and then moved back to St. Thomas which she really liked. Karin and Erhan had a child in 1969, my brother Karun. After things did not work out between Erhan and Karin, she moved with the kids to St. Thomas in 1971 where we moved in with Omalina.

Omalina, always eager to learn new things, continued her education as an adult. She took various courses, but never had to take a GED test nor a college degree. She became an American citizen She eventually became an American citizen in 1970 in St. Thomas.

Mami found work at the College of the Virgin Islands. They paid for employees to take one free course each semester. Mami took the free class each time, plus paid for an extra one. She really had no personal desire to become a U.S. citizen, but when Jens started applying for college Scholarships, he found that one of the requirements was to be a citizen. Children would automatically become a citizen with the parent. Jens and Joerg were both listed on Mami’s application, but when it came to the time for swearing in, the official determined that Jens was too close to being 18 when he would be allowed to make his own decision. So Mami became a citizen, so did Joerg, and Jens for whom the whole process was started had to wait, so for Jens’s sake, she went through the process of becoming a citizen. Mami became a citizen on July 4, 1976. She felt very uncomfortable during the ceremony, because of the way you are asked to denounce your allegiance to your former country of citizenship. Since the ceremony was done in unison with many others, Mami only recited the parts that she felt comfortable with. The person who gave the speech at the ceremonies was Dr. Harrigan, her former boss at the College of the Virgin Islands. He was a British citizen from the island of Tortola, had permanent residency but was very proud of his British heritage and always bragged about having dined with the Queen. .

Jens had to apply on his own for a $25 fee. When the offices where ready to make him a citizen, Jens was at attending the University of Rochester. For a $10 fee, the paperwork could be transferred to Rochester. When that office was ready, Jens was back in the Virgin Islands for a summer job. The papers could have been transferred back to the V.I. for a $10 fee, but it was decided that Jens could wait until he would return to Rochester for his 2nd year at the university.

The Fiederer family went to church regularly. Mami really only stopped attending after she fell in love with Erhan. Since this would be considered a sin by the church, she stopped attending.

Bernhard was part of a community of Germans who lived in Yugoslavia (Serbia), known as "swabs" or "Donau(river)schwaben". This was a county of Germany.

Mami took three vacations back to Germany, one in 1985, one in 1990, and another in 2001.

(note that some dates given in the above are suspect. I do not for one moment believe that my little brother, who now has four children of his own, was born in 2003. And whether you want to believe my own date of birth is up to you).

A demigod passes

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Arild Begins

Just got back from the Rochester Philharmonic Orchestra's first performance with Arild Remmereit in his new role as Music Director (apparently he has guest conducted on 3 previous occasions, but I do not believe I saw any of them).  He is from Norway, but spent much of his life in Vienna, Austria.

I'm always willing to give a guy a try, and like to start with an open mind, but when he mentioned that all the programs he would be doing this season would have a FEMALE composer I was not pleased.  Not that I have anything against female composers (honestly, I didn't really know there were any in the classical field, but they have certainly done fine in pop) but I find the idea of choosing music on the BASE of the composer being female no less loathsome than choosing on the base of the composer being Aryan.  In Arild's defense (and please do not think I am being overly familiar by using his first name, the program calls it "Arild's Inaugural"), from the very beginning of Amy Beach's Symphony No. 2 in E minor, "Gaelic", Op. 32 I was impressed.

This was music I had never heard before, but it was fascinating, stirring in a mildly disturbing way.  There was nothing weird about it, she did not seem to feel she had to be different than the men, just very good.  Symphonies are not my favorite form of music, I think my attention span is just a bit too short for works of that length, but this one did not drag at all, and it often enchanted.  The conductor mentioned before beginning the symphony that this was not part of the standard repertoire and our applause might be what makes that change....or not.  I quote from memory: "So if you do not like this piece, be sure to boo loudly!"

I don't think I've ever been encouraged to boo at a classical concert before, especially not by the conductor, but his efforts seem to fall on deaf ears: at the end all he got was loud applause and a standing ovation with not a single "boo" to be heard in the crowd.

After the intermission we got four shorter pieces on the program: two by Norwegian composers (Halvorsen and Svendsen - both unfamiliar to me but I was glad to get to know them...the first was a quirky march that almost made you want to find some battle to march into, the second a romance featuring the concertmaster as soloist) and two by Strauss (and unfamiliar waltz and a familiar polka).  While no single song left you quite as impressed as the symphony that started it, each one was really unpretentious and enjoyable...you regretted having to sit instead of being on your feet and moving with the music.  I think that this is actually more in spirit of the times of the compositions, these guys were the rock stars of their centuries, and people listened to them to party.

At the end the applause was a bit awkward...we were kind of expecting to do the applause (not standing ovation this time, but only because it feels a bit odd to do a standing-o for a three minute polka no matter how damn good it is) with the standard two calls back for additional bows and pointing out the star performers in the orchestra, but he didn't let us....each time he jogged back from leaving the stage he started another piece without giving us time to stop clapping, and they were all fun, slightly silly pieces (one involving the whole orchestra chanting "tick-tock" repeatedly throughout an otherwise quiet part of the piece).  One was concerned that unless the audience learned just the right applause techniques he would never let us leave...and one wasn't entirely sure that would be a bad thing.

He capped these pieces (I think there were four in all, including this last) with the Radetzky March, with the audience clapping the beat, and him turning around and conducting the audience to do quiet little claps for the quieter section and thunderous claps for the fortissimo.  This guy is a master.

One thing puzzled me, and he alluded to it.  Beach's Symphony No. 2 was the first symphony composed by an American woman.  Why did she start with No. 2?  My current working hypothesis is that she wrote a Symphony No. 1 while she was on steroids, and this one was disqualified by the Olympic committee on that ground...but I don't think the Olympic committee existed yet, and if it did probably would not have extended it's influence over classical music.....inquiring minds want to know!

Quote of the day

"Never tell a woman anything, because she'll misuse it in order to understand you."
- Onno, from Harry Mulisch's The Discovery of Heaven

I had to apologize last night....

Of course, it is not all that rare for me to apologize.  When I inadvertently jostle somebody, or I step on somebody's foot, a heartfelt "sorry" or "get out of my way" slips past my lips without much emotion.

But this time I was actually wrong.

One of the most likely things for me to order at a bar is "a Grand Marnier, straight up in a snifter".  I've been ordering this since the 80s without the occurrence of any disasters.  Sometimes I just say "Grand Marnier", figuring it's the most likely way for it to be served - in a brandy glass, without any ice.

Last night, before the RPO concert at Max's across the street, I ordered a "Grand Marnier" and the bartender asked "neat?" and I said "straight up".  She brought me a concoction I didn't even recognize, cloudy and cold.   After looking at her incredulously, I repeated "Grand Marnier, straight up"?  She nodded cheerfully.  I informed her what I thought "straight up" meant...she seemed dubious, but set the original glass aside and poured me a new one the way I wanted it.  As I enjoyed it, I decided to look up "straight up".

To my amazement, it was exactly the concoction she brought me in the first place....strained through ice to chill it and then served without any further ice to water it down (logical, if you want your drink cold).  For almost thirty years I've been ordering drinks "straight up" without finding out what that actually meant (OK, the article DOES say

"Straight up" means "chilled and served without ice in a cocktail glass" but is often used to mean "neat."

In retrospect, there have been times when bartenders asked  whether I wanted it chilled, but I thought they were just offering an additional unrelated service.  On this occasion, since I had just overruled her "neat" (thinking I was actually confirming it) she couldn't have asked for further clarification without seeming argumentative.

I bought the original glass as well to get an idea of what I've been ordering all these years (not bad, actually, but the temperature tempts you to pour it down the throat much faster than is wise) and apologized.  I'll be ordering it "neat in a snifter" from now on (although back in the 80s "neat", which was the first word I learned for the concept (in a Chinese cookbook, of all places), usually got the bartender to ask "You mean 'straight up'?"

Am I the victim of regional language change, or just delusional?

Quote of the day

"Polygamy ends when children cease to be a net economic asset.  As society progresses and urbanizes, there are cheaper ways of having sex with multiple women, if that is one's goal. "


- Tyler Cowen

The Doctor's Dilemna

Enjoyed the play (newly knighted doctor falls in love with 20-years-younger wife of a sick artist who is a scoundrel - is it best the husband die?).  The director's notes in the program was some frightful twaddle of a paean to socialized medicine.  To be fair, Shaw himself was an unapologetic commie.  He had the intellectual honesty to admit that for his ideal to work, it was understandable and necessary to have people shot when they were shirking their duty, but didn't seem to come to grips with the downside of that concession - apparently the people that would be doing the shooting were all fair, reasonable and altruistic.  Although Shaw mentioned the concept in the play, this was a tangential mention - the play was really about the value of life and the decisions we have to make.  The saving grace of the program notes were luscious photographs, including many of great artists killed by tuberculosis.

Next play, after dinner, is John Bull's Other Island.

Life as an adventure

Tyler Cowen from Marginal Revolution ponders one of his favorite philosophers (just follow the link, boys and girls) who compares literary adventures (where the main characters often follow a path that has been mapped out for them by either a living guide or a trail of clues) with real life careers.

His Robin Hanson quote is worth quoting again:

If you want life paths that quickly and reliably reveal your skills, like leveling up in video games, you want artificial worlds like schools, sporting leagues, and corporate fast tracks. You might call such lives adventures, but really they pretty much the opposite. If you insist instead on adventuring for real, achieving things of real and large consequence against great real obstacles, well then learn to see the glorious nobility of those who try well yet fail.

Quote of the day

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.
- internet wisdom forwarded to me by John Wurtenberg that didn't use the word "hell"

Jocelyn is home!

Picked her up this morning, not much in the way of dead time in the process. When I got there - just to drop things off - she was just away getting x-rays. Just as they were explaining that, she was wheeled in. From there on in, it was signing papers, putting on clothes, packing things up, and getting the car from the garage to load her in.

After that, the focus was on getting her some Abbot's Frozen Yogurt on the way home. The first place was sort of closed - not open until noon. The second location Jocelyn remembered was no longer there. But the third - next to the amusement park and the lake, and not strictly on the way home - was the payoff.

Now she is safely home, and I am off to work. Erich will keep the patient under observation.

Hospital liveblogging

I'm in the waiting room now. Should be with J in pre-op when she is prepped.

They have wireless everywhere here, yay.

Update [14:08]: Now in pre-op. Jocelyn has a splint/cast on one arm, and the other is intubated. She still manages to read her Kindle. Lady next to her bed is very upset because her man's operation has been canceled.

Update [15:38]: Still in pre-op, things are a bit backed up. Upset lady ended up missing her cellphone, minor panic, after a bit they found it on the floor on our side of the curtain.

Update [15:51]: I know everybody wants to see pictures of the wife smiling, but I don't want her whacking me with that heavy cast of hers.

Update [16:48]: STILL waiting. They gave me a $5 bonus voucher for the cafeteria to show they care. Jocelyn, however, hasn't had any food since midnight (she went to bed early but set the alarm clock to 23:30 to get some food in just before the deadline) and is beginning to rate orange on the Cannibalism Threat Indicator System"

Update [18:58]: STILL waiting, but at least in a different place. Jocelyn has signed the doctor's consent form, had the IV she had in for 5 hours removed (it was getting painful) and will soon have another IV in. We've met with the anesthesiologist, and she figures we'll get started any minute now - just after the cafeteria service closes and I can't use my food vouchers anymore. Asked whether she had a message to her sisters, she said "No, I just wanna get this show on the road!"

Update [19:50]: Made it to the cafeteria while there was still hot food available. The surrender of the glasses (they wanted her to keep the glasses as long as possible so she could sign stuff) has taken place. The anesthesiologists have wheeled her away. I'm sure people would rather have details on the patient - so would I - but all I can offer is detail on the dinner - two slices of pizza, one veggie (broccoli, tomatoes, cauliflower, onions, I think even artichokes) one pepperoni. Parfait. Coke. Will blog again when I hear anything.

Update [20:40]: Family Waiting Room at Strong - where I just heard the operation is complete, went well, two pins are holding the bones in a good position, and Jocelyn is awake already and I should be able to see her in half an hour.

Update [22:23]: Everything still good, was just overoptimistic about being able to see Jocelyn quickly. Should be soon, though.

Update [23:26]: Got to see the patient-bunny. Unfortunately, this operation hurt, she was feeling quite miserable. She won't be going home tonight, I can pick her up in the morning. I saw her in the Post-Anesthesia Care Unit (PACU) and they just wheeled her to a patient room a moment ago - I'm blogging while they are making her comfortable there. She's getting some meds now that got the pain down to bearable. They'll probably be kicking me out soon, it sounded at first like I was only going to get to see her for a few minutes but I've been with her almost an hour.

New day, new topic!

My goal this week....

...is to use the word "invidious" in a sentence without sounding like an utter plonker.

I'd love to know the story behind this....

Texts from last night is supposedly a collection of odd text messages people have received. Not all that different, except for tech level, from Overheard In New York.

Sometimes one of these brief excerpts really leaves you wondering about the story behind it. This one, for example:

My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships

My best guess is that she has had relationships with friends of her brother's.

Apartment dwelling woes....

Some of my friends have had difficulties with their neighbors when they lived in apartments (yes, I'm thinking of YOU, professor!), but at least none have ever complained to me about being kept awake by exorcisms.

Stories from my life

A guy with whom I'm playing an online computer game commented to me: "As a programmer you already know, there is no such thing as a "random" glitch".

There may be a cause, but things can look pretty random. I had to fly down to North Carolina once because a system we had written for a large company (controlling vending machines that took credit cards) started randomly charging customers $0 for some of the purchases (which were NOT $0).

I remember the flight well, because I had a cold and the cabin was unpressurized, and I arrived weak and pale with blood trickling out of my ears after some of the worst pain I've ever experienced. The guy in charge of the computer that was running my program whom I was rushing to see was unable to see me at first because an Ebay auction on some collectible was in the end stages, but finally I got to see the system.

After hours of comparing my input logs to the output we were generating, and trying to figure out HOW my program could possibly produce such nonsense - and running the program in a test mode with the same input to try to reproduce the problem - I was ready to tear my hair out.

I wrote a quick test program that did simple arithmetic and logged the output. It worked fine. I went to my hotel room in despair and left it running.

The next day, I checked the output log of the test program and found that for several minute-long periods the computer would add 1 and 1 and arrive at 0.

The computer they were using to run my program was really a collection of a large set of processing units, and processes could be run by any one of these - when my process was run on a defective unit, it produced defective results.

When I asked them how this could possibly have been going on undetected, they explained that the system ran diagnostics continuously, but the results were sent to a display that was itself no longer working, so they hadn't checked in months. Probably higher priority Ebay auctions.

Our president explained to me that it would be bad for company relations if I killed anybody. In retrospect, it might have been worth it.

How happy is happy enough?

Well, if you're not there yet, Badakesuyo tweets how to move in the right direction.

King Kong Theory - book review

A short read, and I recommend it - an interesting view on rape, pornography, prostitution, and gender roles from a woman who has had experience with all of these. Her name is Virginie Despentes, and she writes "as one of the leftovers, one of those weirdos, the ones who shave their heads, those who don't know how to dress, those who worry that they stink...", and for "men who don't want to protect, men who would like to be protective but don't know where to start, men who don't know how to fight, those who cry easily...." The translation from the French was obviously done by a Brit, where "pissed" means "drunk" rather than "angry", and "fag" means "cigarette".

She was raped by three men while she was hitchhiking with another woman. Part of her concern afterward was how unmentionable it was:

The few times - mostly very pissed - when I have wanted to tell this story, have I used the word? Never. The few times I have attempted to talk about it, I'd skirted around the word "rape": "assaulted", "mixed up", "in a tight corner", "hassled"....whatever. As long as the aggression is not called "rape", the attack loses its specificity, can be compared with other attacks, like getting mugged, picked up by the cops, held for questioning, beaten. This short-sighted strategy does have advantages, because as soon as you name your rape as a rape, the women-controlling mechanisms suddenly swing into action: do you want everyone to know what happened to you? Do you want everyone to see you as a woman who has been subject to that? And in any case you must be a total slut to have escaped alive. Any woman who values her dignity would rather die.

Beyond the actual fact of the rape, she felt oppressed because she felt that society would place a greater importance on "the thrusts of those three idiots" than on her fear for her very survival. Not until four years later, when she read an interview with Camille Paglia, did she appreciate her own strength. She doesn't remember the exact words, but Paglia said something like "It's an inevitable danger, a danger that women need to take into account and run the risk of encountering, if they want to leave their homes and move around freely. If it happens to you then pick yourself up, dust yourself down and move on. If that's too scary for you, then you'd better stay at home with Mummy and manicure your nails." Her reaction was negative at first, but when it sunk in, "For the first time, someone was valuing the ability to get over it, instead of lying down obligingly in the anthology of trauma. Someone was devaluing rape, its impact and consequences. This did not invalidate any part of what happened, or efface anything of what we learnt that night."

Later she worked for a while as a prostitute, which she rated as an overall positive experience - the biggest negatives were the expectation of society: "I am not trying to argue that in any conditions, and for any woman, this kind of work is innocuous. But with the modern-day economic world being what it is - cold and pitiless warfare - banning the practice of prostitution within an appropriate legal framework is actively preventing the female class from making a decent living and turning a profit from its very stigmatisation."

Her take on pornography is also pro-sex and anti-society: "Pornography hits the blind corner of reason. It directly addresses our primitive fantasies, bypassing words and thought, The hard-on or wetness comes first; wondering why follows on behind. Self-censorship reactions are shaken. Porn images don't give us any choice: here's what turns you on, here's what makes you respond. Porn shows us the buttons to press to turn ourselves on. And that is porn's greatest strength, its almost mystical dimension. And also what literally horrifies the anti-porn crusaders. They reject being told directly about their own desire, reject being made to know things about themselves that they have chosen to suppress and ignore."

While I don't always agree with her beliefs (she ascribes almost all our constraints to our society, and I believe that there is a biological component to all this that she seems to reject), she is willing to look at facts and feelings straight on. An honest look like that is worth sharing.

And if you buy it from this link, I'd actually earn a few pennies:

Linked by the captivating Penelope Trunk...

... who was herself linked by the legendary MR.

Although her link is about pig sex, so what with that and bouncing nude, it is probably a very good thing I am not actively trying to shape a personal "brand".

Best idea EVER.....

Marginal Revolution points out the service every man should have...appropriately enough called Manpacks.

Yes, you too can have socks and underwear delivered to you on a regular schedule now, to avoid that all-too-familiar nothing-in-the-drawer-without-holes-in-it syndrome.

The question is: now that this is available, will men continue to get married?

Quote of the Day

"That's a husband's FUNCTION!"

-- me, responding to a protest about mussing my wife's lipstick